An Innocent Love

Class

It's midway through the semester, and today you have math class. By this point you know which classes are your favorites, and the ones that are most boring. If anyone ask which class you favor most highly, you'll undoubtedly say math as all the answers come to you naturally. More excitingly, your best friend is your well respected shoulder partner.

It's your 6th period, right after lunch; you're ultra prepared for the lesson today, even doing your homework the night prior. Despite your excitement and preparation, you still walk in gravely disappointed – failing to find your friend on the way to class. You were hoping you saw him sometime through lunch but... no luck. You expect class to be incredibly boring with the absence of your friend. It was always in times such as these that reminded you how much you value smooth and easy conversation.

...

The teacher greeted the class as she passed out the usual warmup problems for the class to fill out independently. She always opened class the same way, never once changing – you always respected this part of class the most, and if you payed attention in class, the warmups were always easy – thats the reason your friend always needed help with them, that's even the way you met each other. It was traditional for you to give him the answers before you both got to laughing and talking. He drove a hard bargain indeed, and you always bought it.

You quickly solved the warmup problem then looked at the empty seat next to you, wondering what you'll do. After looking at absolute nothingness occupied in a seat for a good while, you notice a pleasant sight out the corner of your eye, one you've never seemed to acknowledge before.

Her

A blind spot you've never uncovered, it was strange you never noticed her as she sat right behind your friend. Your eyes lingered on her for many seconds at a time while you struggled to focus on anything else. With no need of any formal introduction, even while separated from her and null of words, she gathered the full attention of your eyes. It was strange how someone you had never noticed garnered so much of your attention.

As luck would have it, your teacher then promoted the class to pair and share, requiring her to move up one seat.

She stood up getting ready to move, then tripped immediately after.

Laughing it off, and quickly saying, "You didnt see anything!", as she tried to ignore her clumsiness.

You laughed it off as well while she continued to softly laugh at herself even after sitting down next to you. Nervously you made a joke about her clumsiness attempting to lighten the mood.

"Maybe you should slow down a little bit." Smiling softly through yours words.

Mistakingly you started something you wouldn't be able to finish. She laughed while secretly taking it personality, vowing to herself to make you pay for the rest of class.

Amidst your pair and share, she gave you a glimpse of her soul. You learned she loved to laugh as she cracked endless jokes. While many were mean and cold, you couldn't help but take them lightly as she kindled sharp jokes with her soft smile.

Your teacher would regret her decision to sit you next to one another, as you both whispered and giggled back and forth for the rest of class. For the first time ever, you ignored everyone and everything around you as the conversation with her flowed for what seemed like eternity bottled into one class.

It took nothing but one conversation for her to top your friend as your favorite part of class. Everyday when you got ready for school you picked out your outfits with her imaginary opinions stuck in your mind. When your friends made immature jokes, you no longer laughed just in case she was near. Your weeks became remembered by the days you had math class, because those were the days when you had the chance to speak with her once more. Your thoughts at night became consistent reminders about how much you enjoyed conversations with her.

Lunch

Apparently she loved the laughs and conversations just as much as you did, and it didn't take long until you were both speaking outside of class. You would find each other after lunch and walk one another to your classes everyday.

"Why do you always walk so slow?" She always complained about how slow you walked.

You frequently rebutted, "Why do you always walk so fast?"

Despite all that, somehow, you both always walked hip to hip. You sped up and she slowed down – finding a space in-between, where you both extended yourselves for one another but you both stayed comfortable as well.

Although you were nervous, and as a young person... always wanting more, you never needed an extension of anything she was willing to give you. You cherished every minute she listened and every laugh she gave you. You didn't want to seem over bearing and tried to play it cool, or in other words – fake it 'till you make it. Every walk together or conversation, joke, and compliment, was taken at an immensely healing, welcoming, and comfortable pace for the both of you.

As you look back, in many ways, your nervousness towards messing up your relationship with her is what allowed it to grow the most.

Very soon after this you started to spend the entirety of your lunch with her, doing nothing but walking in circles, laughing and talking, talking and laughing. You neglected your friends at lunch, and so did she to hers. Lunch never went by so quickly before, as conversations with her felt so euphoric that time became minute and untraceable. Through the day conversations with her went by in a flash, yet at night you could replay them word for word as they defined your dreams while you drifted to sleep.

Tradition

Conversations with her became an ordinary tradition throughout the day. You speak every morning and never miss a single night. You wake up with a smile when she's still on the phone, and you go to sleep late at night after hours of laughter. You spend every minute you could with one another, limited by age and time, the school yard is where most of your memories together are made.

It wasn't surprising when people started whispering rumors and planting seeds that grow into a tree with seats for a king and a queen. She would always laugh when people would sing about trees and other things, but for some reason it always had a special ring. Sometimes you even caught yourself humming it, but you laughed it off because that would mean pigs probably grew wings.

Besides the rumors, she was your best friend. You told her everything – and everything means everything. She knew your deepest secrets and biggest character flaws. You knew her as though she was you, or the back of your hand, or any metaphor that means you knew her for her, and accepted every part.

Though, there were signs. Together you slipped them under the door and stashed them under the rugs, and you'd find clues hidden in the mattress if you dared to unzip it. You both knew and you both felt it, but never said anything. The relationship was too important and the risk wasn't worth it. It was like choosing between everything or nothing, blue pill or red pill... life or death.

Love

She gathered all of your attention, undivided and unlike any person before. You learned to give it to her in the fullest amounts outside of school – primarily outside of school. Talking for hours, until your eyes couldn't stay open any longer and they drifted to sleep with a dimmed screen of the both of you mirrored to one another.

Your time spent talking outside of school was all the more enjoyable. You often spent more time with her from miles away than you did during the day at school, or in class. Your time spent with her on the phone became something that you would remember for years there after. The hours spent with her over miles felt like minutes while the distance felt reduced to mere inches away from one another.

Pure conversation had grown into a feeling so pure, so unimaginable, so vivid with many memories of bliss and ecstasy. It felt like a hug from your mother after a long day. Like meal you'd been craving your entire life. Or, maybe it was like a holiday you had waited all year to experience. You longed for the sharp pain of her unfiltered jokes and the pleasures of her kind soft smile.

At some point every moment became euphorically therapeutic, and no second ever felt wasted and every second without her felt like you threw time in the trash. She.. She was the first person that you met on your own accord's. The first relationship that you made independently and fostered on your own.

Thoroughly, she was the first person who you meant everything to you, and the first woman you ever told... "I love you."

...

Fascist

She told you that she loved you as well, which produced a feeling of a great peace, so sweepingly calm there was no need to expect a storm. You felt as though you were the center of everything she knew, everything she cared about, and everything she loved. You loved this more, even more than you loved her.

You loved that you loved her, but you especially loved that she loved you. Never before had someone cared for you as this, looking into your eyes with attraction and acceptance while delusionally looking past your flaws and straight to the pureness of your soul.

You quickly became a fascist towards love as it felt better than anything before, better than any high you'd chased later in life, and better than anything presently. You chased the feeling, chased it straight out of her when she too realized that you cared more for her love, than you cared for her.

I hope you enjoyed.. What does love means to you? Comment.

I wish you a life filled with innocent love.